Sigh.... I guess I love my kids

Well, getting back in to the routine of getting Hugh off to school every morning has been slow off the mark. I aim to leave at 10 to 8 because we don't get in the car until 8.10am. Where does that 20 minutes go?

The days have been starting with Hugh starting to ask to play the computer as soon as he gets up: "Mum, can I play warcraft? Why not? I don't want to go to school. Why do I have to go to school every day that Da goes to work?"

"Mum, can I please play on the computer? But you're not using it? Why can't I mum? Every day you say no."

"Mum, I've eaten all my breakfast. Can I play the computer?"

"Mum, can I just play the computer quickly before we leave? Please Mum. Please. Why do I have to go to school? I don't want to go to school. I want to play warcraft."

(Woz, every time the word WARCRAFT comes out of Hughie's mouth I feel like punching you for introducing him to it!)

Ever since we moved house just less than two weeks ago, Nate has wet the bed almost every night, tempting me to put him back in nappies at night, except that the days that I pretty much decide to do that, he is dry. Annoying. Plus, half the time we've been here has actually been impossibly wet weather, making it difficult to sort out his bedding. He is also my whingey boy. I mean, they all whinge, but Nate especially. It's all in the tone of voice. But it's "Muuuuuum, Hoowee hit meeeeeeeeeee." "Muuuuumm, i don' wanna have worrrrrterrrrrrr." "Muuuuuuum! I hiiiiiit my lehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhg." "Muuuuuumm... I've gotta sorrrrrre."  "Muuuuuum, I want someping to eeeeeeeeeat." DRIVES ME BONKERS. Nate, fix your voice up and ask me again. Nate, stop your whinging voice and try saying it this way. Nate, if you didn't play rough in the first place,.... Nate, stop your whinging and just do as I told ya!

And Theo? Well he's been okay. Just the usual: territorial over his current toy(s) of the day - don't touch them, don't threaten to touch them, don't try to take them off me to dress me, put me in the car, let me take them to Hugh's classroom. Carry me to the classroom with all my toys. Don't put me down either, I feel insecure being around all these kids and people everywhere. Now carry me back to the car. Put me down, I want to go on the playground. Hold my toys. I don't want to go home. No, don't pick me up. No, don't take my toys off me to do up my seatbelt! Etc etc.

Anyway now I've had my spew let me tell you about things that make these things all completely worth it.  I got something from each of the boys yesterday, the Lord knew I needed. Just little things that get you by.

Last night, late when I was going to bed, turning off lights, checking children, I heard a funny groaning coming from Theo's room. I stood by the door which was just ajar, listening til i heard it again. I knew that if i pushed the door open the creaky noise would wake him up, but I couldn't help myself, so i let the light from the hall spill onto his cot. He was face down into his pillow and out comes this muffled "Uuhhh-diiiink....... Muuuum."

Soo cute. Trying to keep him from getting upset and waking properly, I just said, okay bubba, I'll get you a drink. And when I returned with a glass of water I found him sitting, squinty-eyed in his cot. He skulled the whole glass, gave it back to me, then grabbed his blanket and pulled it back over himself and laid down to sleep. Talk about gorgeous.

Yesterday, while out and about Nate and Theo were going to and fro from a toy mat and coming back to show me things they found, while I chatted to other mums. One moment, Nate was at the toy mat and a Mum quickly passed me her four month old baby as she ducked out the room. Within seconds, Nate and Theo were back to suss out who was sharing their mum. Theo needed to get under my other arm to make sure I still had room in my private space for him. Nate stood with a genuinely perplexed face for a minute, before making a connection of his own: patting my tummy, he asks, "Mum, is that the baby from your tummy?"

If only!

But i do cherish that moment I had with Nate, him being a bit clever and a rare moment of him anticipating the baby with me.

And then yesterday morning, when I was sitting with Hugh in his classroom, dropping him off for the day, I noticed posters hanging up around the room that each of the kids had done for Mother's Day. Each kid had done a portrait of his mum and written their ending to the sentence: "I love my mum because....." I was looking at what some of the kids had written: "She makes me lasagne and tuna mornay." "She plays with me with my toys." "She reads me bedtime stories."  I was wondering what on earth Hugh would have written? I also wondered what ideas and suggestions were made to the kids when they were doing the project: Hugh is the type of kid to use a suggestion no matter what it meant. Then, i found his: "I love my mum because... She gives me chocolate milk when I'm sad."

That one's true (never something I've been certain if it's a good idea): it can't have been a suggestion!

It made my day to think that there was something about me that Hugh treasured: there was something that I did that he had singled out that he loved about me. I have had dreams about the things that my children might remember about me when they grew up and chocolate milk never sprang to mind! Me being preoccupied with my self has not stopped him from finding something, one thing. It was the best thank you ever! And all of that computer talk, warcraft annoyance went down the drain! At least, til he got home from school and started asking again.