Rheumatoid Arthfrickus

Recently my twenty-one year old brother was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.... I feel so ripped off for him!!  A tall, handsome, talented football player and musician, now quietly suffering and searching.

Questions... why?
what caused it?
how will it affect him?
how can he manage?
will it stop him from being able to play the guitar or drums or piano? or football? permanently?
will it shorten his life?
what can i do to help?

He told me on the phone today that the specialist seems to have one answer for all his questions... RA is so unique and unpredictable in each individual, so we take things as we go.

The day that I found out that he was being diagnosed with RA a few weeks ago, I was undergoing tests with Nate to see if he had septic arthritis in his hip. He woke up one morning in pain and couldn't move, and i put it down to pins and needles, or growing pains. I made him climb down from his bed and get himself ready for school as usual. In our busyness, I actually didn't notice until we were walking from the car to the classroom, actually how consistent his pain and his restricted movements were!

He was quietly teary as I left him at mat time, but after talking with the teachers we decided to see if he would settle in to class and his hip might loosen up. I ran off to lead a bible study which ran until 11am, and then I rang the class to check on him. He was still in lots of pain so I took him straight in to Dr and all these tests started. He had blood taken and an Xray which took the rest of the day. The whole time i had to push him round in Clay's pram because he was in so much pain! But by the next day he was fine. He said he could still feel pain when moving in a particular way, but he was able to play happily.

In the end it was just "Irritable Hip Syndrome", but it was five days of a daily trip to Dr to keep it under close watch, and two trips to the hospital for an ultrasound. It is stupid to fit in all these visits around normal life, you really just can't get ahead with housework and meals. And the thoughts going on about it possibly being septic arthritis was totally draining! the fact that he was better the next day was encouraging though. I'm very thankful that the dr's were so thorough and cautious.

Noone close to me has suffered from a form of arthritis (except my grandma in the winter in her old age) and then bam, in one day, all this going on with Nate and then Dad says whats going on with my brother.

The outcome has been much more serious for him though. He is struggling to carry out a day's work, losing money from his sick days, forking out money to trial drugs and visit the specialist, and has had to change (cancel) his plans to travel overseas with his girlfriend. It will affect his career choices. He is seriously reconsidering the ways he eats and exercises and his general health and wellbeing, and talking with him about it was overwhelming even for me all these kilometres away.

I fight the urge to mother him. I fight the urge to bible bash him. And like in all of those situations, where there is bad news, you are never sure what to say... for fear of it sounding like what everyone else is saying  or maybe because it might sound superficial.

I asked him today if he thinks we should pray for healing, and he said yeah ok. I have not prayed sincerely for full healing before. I am one of those people who will use the cop-out - "if it's in your will"....  Of course I believe my God CAN heal him! But I do think it's important to seek His will first... and that's where the grey area lies..... is God stripping him bare of his comforts and diversions in order to bring him to his knees?..... is he allowing this for the strengthening of my brother's heart and for the purpose of his heart to receive his FULL portion not from his bodily strength but from the Living Water??

And how confusing is this... if you pray for healing, well you might not see it get answered here on earth but of course when you stand before the Throne in Heaven you are healed, you are in your new body.... with a fuller appreciation for it... and so begins my weird understanding of "The god of opposites" which i have never quite been able to articulate.

But my brother has agreed that praying for healing is a great idea. Well of course, what harm is it going to bring?.... the harm i can see it bringing is a negative impact on your faith if you don't see a miracle.....

In this very situation, i truly believe that the miracle will not be the physical denouncing of Rheumatoid Arthritis or not... The miracle will be my brother understanding that he is healed - in his heart.  This is the miracle that I am praying for.

More on the tooth fairy thing.

Well, right on time after all the tooth fairy talk, Hughie has now lost his first baby tooth!

It was the first one that he cut, not quite six years ago when he was six months old.

It was while throwing a tantrum on his bed, that he was biting his doona and pulling it through his teeth that one gave way - hopefully one that was ready to go anyway. There was blood and tears and a little fear. The excitement overthrew the rage. I've got a wobbly tooth! I've got a wobbly tooth! That was about a week ago. Memories came back about trying to eat apples and wiggle it with your tongue. I had no idea how long it was from the time it became wobbly until the time it would fall out. Time is measured differently when you're a kid.

So, i decided all on my lonesome to play along with the tooth fairy game, to see if, in all the excitement, he might give in to the idea of the tooth fairy and stop ruining all the dreams and hopes of the mothers of the children he goes to school with!

He put his little tooth in a little tupperware snack cup and put it under the pillow, and he checked with me that the tooth fairy would still be able to exchange it for money. He fell asleep really quickly (being in bed by 5pm - that will have to be another blog), but he awoke later at about 7pm with a fever and an hour after panadol and a drink, he was still feeling uncomfortable and so we set him up with a Buzz Lightyear movie and a drink and a bucket. At 9.30 it was our bedtime and his movie had finished, so he pops back into the bedroom and brings out the snack cup. "Mum, why haven't you changed this yet?" he goes. I did a double take and then tried to play it low. "What do you mean, Hughie?" "Why haven't you changed my tooth for money yet?" Okay Kiah stay smart here. "Don't be silly Hughie. That's the Tooth Fairy's job and she always does that when you're asleep." Hughie looks at me sideways while he goes back to bed. Then went straight to sleep. He was fast asleep by the time I had fuddled around getting ready to get in to bed. So I snuck in and acted on behalf of the Tooth Fairy.

What do you do with the tooth, anyway? After taking it from under the pillow i couldn't help but feel a little sentimental about chucking it. This tooth that my baby grew!!! Then, eewwww, chuck it. Then, Quick, make sure noone can see it in the bin, Cover up my dirty work.

First thing this morning.... "Mum!!! Thank you for my money!!!"
"What do you mean, Hughie?"
"The money you gave me. Thank you!!"
"You're Welcome, darling."

The Tooth Fairy was never gonna work with me n Hughie.

Tooth fairy trauma #2

Well, i chatted to Hughie about what he told {emma}. Turns out, nobody had told him anything about the tooth fairy, he had just reached the conclusion himself. He said to me, Mum, all those movies about fairies and stuff, they aren't real.
I said Hughie, when you lose a tooth, don't you want the tooth fairy to bring you some money? Tooth fairies aren't gonna trade for your tooth if you go spreading lies about them. (!)
He said Muuh-um, don't be stupid.

When he was four, he did ask us once, why my christmas present was wrapped in the same wrapping paper as the stuff Santa had brought.

He's too switched on that boy. I don't think any of our kids are gonna get any santa or tooth fairy magic, half because he bursts bubbles by being too clever... and half because i'm not too fussed about lying to my kids.

He does get enthused about the Easter bunny though, so it'll be interesting to see how that goes!