Lessons Learnt

Did you ever wander along in life only to find out one day that someone had a problem with you, they have had it for a long time but never told you. Possibly because it wasn't important enough to hinder their relationship with you or possibly because telling you wouldn't help it. And then something little happens and it comes out, spewing out of their mouth before you, leaving you wondering about all the things in the past that have slipped your attention, and you will never be able to remember!

Well, it's happened to me twice this year. Two different people and people who I love dearly. And both times, it was such a big thing for them that they thought I must have known! But I didn't. The latest one was a smaller deal than the first - but probably a reiteration of the things God is wanting to teach me this year.

I reckon most people have a relatively good impression of me. I hope most people think I'm nice. Because I am, I think. I would like to think that I am well-meaning. But I don't always think about the things that come out of my mouth or the way I say them. And the people who are closest to me often cop it. And I never really knew the extent of which until this year!

I've been learning to look forward, to learn and move on, and to not dwell on the past. To think upon past sin will just incur more guilt to carry... guilt which allows more sin to take hold. I have a vehicle now: I can bring all my guilt to Jesus and have it dealt with straight away! And when he releases me from my guilt by taking my burden for me, I truly am free to enjoy life and to move on with a clean slate. But now for the next part....

The other people in my life. People who feel they weren't treated right, who have been offended by my actions or words. Even if all that happened years ago or if it wasn't meant to be hurtful. I have been reminded of stuff I did as a 14 year old... 17 year old.... 20 year old... 24 year old.... My first reaction is HEY! I've been forgiven. That's in the past. I don't need to carry that guilt any more!!! Let's not dwell on it - let's move forward!!

But I forgot .... I need forgiveness from people, too. Well, some things are more obvious and instantaneous than others. And most of these things I didn't even know about until this year - or, perhaps I didn't realise the extent of the impact these events had had on them.

But then there is ongoing forgiveness from people, that I need as much as the ongoing forgiveness I receive from my king. Because even though I endeavour to grow, and to do the right thing, I am still me, and I still do lots of things wrong. I think I always will. I think we all, always will. My biggest lesson last year was how to continually seek forgiveness from my king. Now he wants me to learn about living in humility amongst my family and friends. And, in true biblical style, He started out all cryptic about it. But after this week, it's a fairly blatant command in front of my eyes. Kiah, be nice. Kiah, be humble. If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am but a noisy gong or clanging cymbal! (1 Corinthians 13:1) Love, and don't take the love bestowed on you for granted. Easy peasy japanesey,...... not! Lord, I'll hold tight to your promise here: I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (Phillipians 4:13)

It is times like these that pregnancy hormones are a gift! Where I am otherwise living in blissful ignorance, the past couple of months have been rich with learning about relationships. The sensitivity!.... The overreacting!....The emotional rides that can take hold.

Over and above all this, I am blessed that the people in my life are forgiving.  I know people who haven't been so lucky. To receive forgiveness from our king is enough, but to continue a good relationship with a loved one makes life a heck of a lot more pleasant. Please keep forgiving me, and have patience, because I'm learning how to love you better.

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ...... Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but as living servants of God. Honour everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God....
1 Peter 1:13, 2:16-17