Lactivate!!!

I came across a new word this week, one i've never heard before, and i'm not sure how i haven't heard! by a woman labelling herself as a Lactivist.

I was pondering the cleverness of the term - a Lactation Activist - and started wondering if i was one? My eyes were pointed at the ceiling when Woz walked in, and broke into my thoughts with: "Hey, whattaya thinking about?"
I was wondering where to start, or how much Woz would care or understand about the subject, so i just said, "Lactivist. Am I a lactivist?"
Woz sits down. "Well, what's a lactivist?" I can see his mind ticking over and he starts thinking out loud. "Lack....tivist. Are you a lack-tivist? as in- you would be an activist about something, but you lack motivation? are you an activist that doesn't activate?"

It made me giggle for sure. But maybe i am a bit of a lacktivist, in many areas of my life! I have so many things, beliefs, passions, that are sort of squashed in amongst the daily grind, the desire to fit in with my peers, the desire to actually just appear like a normal human being (this isn't really a great time to remind me that I've probably already lost that ability!)... and so on and so forth. My passion for breastfeeding being one of them.

But it was just this week, talking with a friend that the very subject of being an Activist even came up, when even though i have searched for that very word in many of my trains of thought I've never been able to find it. I'll give you a long-winded example of one of the times I have searched.

Once upon a time, when I was about three years into my parenting journey, a dear friend of mine began hers. She was far more prepared than I ever was, reading up on plenty of books and doing tons of net research, to get her smoothly through her first pregnancy, birth experience, and set off sailing into her relationship with her new son. She adopted a fairly massive label, to become an Attachment Parent. Wearing a label was something I'd never been brave enough to do. Having so many different peers, I guess we've just gleaned from everyone's experience and felt our way through the joys and messes that parenthood brought. So I guess you could say that I could wear many of the little labels that come with Attachment parenting, but I couldn't label myself as an Attachment parent - in the same way that I couldn't label myself as a Growing Kids God's Way parent, or so on, but this carries throughout many areas of my life apart from the "parenting culture" as well.

In the months that ensued, I witnessed much dedication and determination, and I can see now that my friend is somewhat an activist in the world of Attachment Parenting - she certainly has many achievements that testify to her and her husband's parenting style. But it didn't come without hardship, and there were times when they needed support (as all parents do!). It was at these times that I got the feeling she felt alone. I am not able to say that I never judged the way they do things, in spite of what I wanted to feel. And I know that my judgement was the least of her worries: she had many reasons to feel alone. This in itself really upset me: No parent, and especially someone who ISNT a parent, has any reason to judge the way another parent, parents.

I don't know one Mum or Dad who do not raise their child or children with their whole being. I don't know one Mum or Dad who doesn't think twice about the way they are doing things. I DO know parents who are doing things very differently from each other. But in their own isolated situations, they are appropriate - to the parent's belief system, to the child's personality and the parents' personalities, to their community or circumstance. I have been that lucky, to not witness a family in which the parent actually does not care about their child. (Disclaimer: I realise that there are families out there who do not actually function and there are children out there who need help. I do not refer to these extreme situations, but to that of the friends around us, the other parents in our communities who are in our day to day lives.)

It is from this experience that I felt there should be a "Parenting Haven" - a place where parents of all walks can come together to receive support and encouragement and learn from each other without judgement. As much as i have known parents to care for their child, I also know that all parents make mistakes and could not do it alone. It is from this experience that I have endeavoured at times to be a lacktivist! Because perhaps, in essence, I can be a haven to many parents by not having too many opinions or judgements about many things.

Getting back to why I was talking about being an Activist this week: I am starting my training to become a breastfeeding counsellor. My friend was ecstatic to learn this, as her own experience was to end up bottle-feeding out of ignorance and now she wishes she knew better, and she wishes she had known about the breastfeeding counsellors out there. She wishes she even knew anything about the benefits of breastfeeding. So her natural response was to be encouraged for the others she knew like her, and that the resource of ABA counsellors was growing.

I said, as much as I love breastfeeding, I was worried about being such a forceful advocate as some (in leiu of the word Activist). Because there are plenty of people in my life who would not or could not breastfeed, and in my effort to love them, I certainly don't want them to feel judged by me.

My friend's reply was that the world needs activists. This rocked my world of thoughts; it's true. The reason we enjoy the freedom we do in this country is because of past activists who stood up for their ideas and beliefs. And in the realm of majority vs minority, Minorities need their activists. And I agree.

So my perception of activating, and lacktivating, is growing and changing. Am I a lactivist? I guess not. The only thing important enough to me to be an Activist about is Jesus Christ, and to have those I love know His love.  This is a whole nother post, because it is a point of argument for many: that Christ becomes the cop-out for many christians who are not fighting for worthy causes. I go about those worthy causes in unplanned ways similar to that of my parenting style. But truly, when you know the love of Christ, everything else really does fade into the horizon. Not because the issues aren't important, but because his love is so encompassing!

So there you have it..... a humungus rant that didn't really go anywhere (in my husband's opinion)..... but how ironic is it, that one of the top ten successful blogging tips is to actually be consistent with a "label" of some description? That was one of the reasons I never started a blog! This longwinded post may be the death of the popularity of my blog but being true to myself, I'm just writing out thoughts straight from my heart - and sometimes, they're all over the place. Thanks if you got this far!!